Kryptonite

Because Tomorrow is 14th

Before I get this rant random thought swallow me in I’d like to say sorry for even writing this stuff, but it’s one of those random moments wherein I need to put my thoughts into writing because if not it would definitely eat me up. So here it goes…


Because tomorrow is 14th…just another 14th of the month.

I thought I’ve already forgotten everything but guess what, I haven’t even a bit. I still remember those tiny details of you, of us…It’s been more than a year after that…(I can’t even put it in words) thing happened. That was my last memory of you. I wish I was there, at that very moment when you chose to sent me that message…I wish I was there, I wish I was able to hold on to you. And to make every possible ways to slow down the time we have, we still have. I wish I was able to say all the things I kept inside. I had a lot. It was so unfair. Until the very last time you didn’t give me the privilege of time. I want you to know how much it hurts. How hard it was to keep my sanity during that time. Every day was a challenge, to keep moving and to act normal while I was dying inside. Everything was eating me up. 

"What happened?" that was the only thing running through my mind. It was a simple question…but I never get a valid answer. I was hurting, every pieces of me was screaming out of pain. Baby, I wish I could just shut off all my senses. I wish I could just magically forget all the things that hurt me that time.

But…

I wish it was still me.




But no shooting star was able to answer my prayer, no angels to hear me crying, and no amount of tears brought you back. It was a battle that I’m quickly losing. I was trying hard not to lose you but little did I know there wasn’t even a battle to fight, since it was you who was on the other side…



So at the end, I accepted my defeat.




You win it this time…



and now, I’m fighting another battle.



And guess who I’m fighting with…



Still you.



But this time, it’s much worse and much stronger. 



It’s the fragment of you.



It’s a battle between me and my memories of you. It’s a tough one, and I’m still battling out until now…



It still hurts.

I hope you’ll let me win it this time.

Because Tomorrow is 14th

Before I get this rant random thought swallow me in I’d like to say sorry for even writing this stuff, but it’s one of those random moments wherein I need to put my thoughts into writing because if not it would definitely eat me up. So here it goes…


Because tomorrow is 14th…just another 14th of the month.

I thought I’ve already forgotten everything but guess what, I haven’t even a bit. I still remember those tiny details of you, of us…It’s been more than a year after that…(I can’t even put it in words) thing happened. That was my last memory of you. I wish I was there, at that very moment when you chose to sent me that message…I wish I was there, I wish I was able to hold on to you. And to make every possible ways to slow down the time we have, we still have. I wish I was able to say all the things I kept inside. I had a lot. It was so unfair. Until the very last time you didn’t give me the privilege of time. I want you to know how much it hurts. How hard it was to keep my sanity during that time. Every day was a challenge, to keep moving and to act normal while I was dying inside. Everything was eating me up. 

"What happened?" that was the only thing running through my mind. It was a simple question…but I never get a valid answer. I was hurting, every pieces of me was screaming out of pain. Baby, I wish I could just shut off all my senses. I wish I could just magically forget all the things that hurt me that time.

But…

I wish it was still me.




But no shooting star was able to answer my prayer, no angels to hear me crying, and no amount of tears brought you back. It was a battle that I’m quickly losing. I was trying hard not to lose you but little did I know there wasn’t even a battle to fight, since it was you who was on the other side…



So at the end, I accepted my defeat.




You win it this time…



and now, I’m fighting another battle.



And guess who I’m fighting with…



Still you.



But this time, it’s much worse and much stronger. 



It’s the fragment of you.



It’s a battle between me and my memories of you. It’s a tough one, and I’m still battling out until now…



It still hurts.

I hope you’ll let me win it this time.